A man once told me, “it’s easier to let it happen than to say no” and my immediate thought was females who have been raped and I felt sick to my stomach at that very thought. Under no circumstances is letting it happen ever the right decision. You have a right to give or not give your consent to a person and no one should ever make you think that you do not.
Think about those words being chosen while imagining a woman being raped, it is absolutely horrifying. He wants it yet she does not but she was told that letting it happen was easier. Her 63 inches of height compared to his 74 inches is quite the difference, making it hard for her to put up a fight since the words “no, stop” were not having any effect on the situation. Picture it, every emotion, every thought, every tear, every sight, and each tense of every muscle.
She planned on hanging out with this guy she met in class, no intentions of anything happening other than maybe a simple kiss goodnight; however, he had other plans. He began to caress her thigh and she asks, “what are you doing?” He ignores it, smiles and moves his hard to her back as he started kissing her with his eyes fixated so intensely on her that it made her feel very uncomfortable, she knew what was about to happen. The girl tries to stand up and tells him to stop yet he does not listen, he pushes her back onto the bed grabbing her arms and pinning her to the bed. She says that she needs to go and he says “no you don’t, you’re fine” as he starts pulling at her pants. She manages to get up off the bed and he thinks it is a game, he follows her as she stubbles while pulling her pants back up. He is still fixated on her and begins to look her up and down, she again says “listen I really need to get back home,” and again he ignores it. He shoves the girl up against the door, ripping off her sweater as he starts whispering in her ear that everything is going to be alright, the fear and embarrassment in her mind is heart wrenching. He grabs her throat and kisses her hard, he is not even fazed as she sheds a single tear. She nervously tries one more time, “it’s getting late what if I come back another night when I don’t have to work tomorrow, doesn’t that sound nice?” It barely works, he is angry but she grabs her sweater and heads quickly toward the door, she hears him coming to the door as well and she hurries to her car and drives off as fast as she can with tears flowing from her eyes. Her body is trembling and she feels violated, the only thought she had was all the places he was touching her while she said no.
Not every woman is as lucky as she was, not everyone gets away. It is now a struggle for this girl to make eye contact, touch or even be alone with any man around his age now as it is a trigger for a terrible memory which she would rather not relive. Over time it gets easier but no one really knows about her experience. In fact, out of every 1000 rapes only about 310 are reported to the police. Did she tell the police, no she did not because by the time she was able to look in the mirror and realize what had happened to her, she figured that it was too late. It is NEVER too late. It is your body and you get to choose what is done with it. This girl could have taken the advice “easier to let it happen than to say no” and things could have ended up much worse but because she knew she did not want it, she was not going to let it happen and she didn’t. Good for her.
Visit www.projectconsent.com for more details and ways to open the eyes of people about consent and that without a yes, there is no consent.
“But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.”
My prayer to you,
Heavenly father I ask you to give strength to those who are in need and replenish those who have faced dark times. It is times like these that we feel so low and worthless but Lord you can show us our worth again. Let us know how much you care and how important we truly are, you have the ability to heal and with that we can rejoice. I ask that you take away their pain let them not be scared anymore, let them trust again. Give them the strength to overcome their troubles and give them the courage to say no, let them know that their consent IS needed. Be their guide Lord,
I pray this in your heavenly name, amen.