easier to let it happen.

A man once told me, “it’s easier to let it happen than to say no” and my immediate thought was females who have been raped and I felt sick to my stomach at that very thought. Under no circumstances is letting it happen ever the right decision. You have a right to give or not give your consent to a person and no one should ever make you think that you do not.

Think about those words being chosen while imagining a woman being raped, it is absolutely horrifying. He wants it yet she does not but she was told that letting it happen was easier. Her 63 inches of height compared to his 74 inches is quite the difference, making it hard for her to put up a fight since the words “no, stop” were not having any effect on the situation. Picture it, every emotion, every thought, every tear,  every sight, and each tense of every muscle.

She planned on hanging out with this guy she met in class, no intentions of anything happening other than maybe a simple kiss goodnight; however, he had other plans. He began to caress her thigh and she asks, “what are you doing?” He ignores it, smiles and moves his hard to her back as he started kissing her with his eyes fixated so intensely on her that it made her feel very uncomfortable, she knew what was about to happen. The girl  tries to stand up and tells him to stop yet he does not listen, he pushes her back onto the bed grabbing her arms and pinning her to the bed. She says that she needs to go and he says “no you don’t, you’re fine” as he starts pulling at her pants. She manages to get up off the bed and he thinks it is a game, he follows her as she stubbles while pulling her pants back up. He is still fixated on her and begins to look her up and down, she again says  “listen I really need to get back home,” and again he ignores it. He shoves the girl up against the door, ripping off her sweater as he starts whispering in her ear that everything is going to be alright, the fear and embarrassment in her mind is heart wrenching. He grabs her throat and kisses her hard, he is not even fazed as she sheds a single tear. She nervously tries one more time, “it’s getting late what if I come back another night when I don’t have to work tomorrow, doesn’t that sound nice?” It barely works, he is angry but she grabs her sweater and heads quickly toward the door, she hears him coming to the door as well and she hurries to her car and drives off as fast as she can with tears flowing from her eyes. Her body is trembling and she feels violated, the only thought she had was all the places he was touching her while she said no.

Not every woman is as lucky as she was, not everyone gets away. It is now a struggle for this girl to make eye contact, touch or even be alone with any man around his age now as it is a trigger for a terrible memory which she would rather not relive. Over time it gets easier but no one really knows about her experience. In fact, out of every 1000 rapes only about 310 are reported to the police. Did she tell the police, no she did not because by the time she was able to look in the mirror and realize what had happened to her, she figured that it was too late. It is NEVER too late. It is your body and you get to choose what is done with it. This girl could have taken the advice “easier to let it happen than to say no” and things could have ended up much worse but because she knew she did not want it, she was not going to let it happen and she didn’t. Good for her.

Visit www.projectconsent.com for more details and ways to open the eyes of people about consent and that without a yes, there is no consent.

Rape

 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.”

Deuteronomy 22:25-28

My prayer to you,

Heavenly father I ask you to give strength to those who are in need and replenish those who have faced dark times. It is times like these that we feel so low and worthless but Lord you can show us our worth again. Let us know how much you care and how important we truly are, you have the ability to heal and with that we can rejoice. I ask that you take away their pain let them not be scared anymore, let them trust again. Give them the strength to overcome their troubles and give them the courage to say no, let them know that their consent IS needed. Be their guide Lord,

I pray this in your heavenly name, amen.

j.murph

Strength.

Times get tough and that is just when you feel as is all you have left to do is just give up but then you would be a quitter and no one really wants to be known as a quitter. Do not give up when there is a difficulty those in your direction, simply stand up and fight it.You are strong and have the strength to conquer many things in life. Do not let any difficulty get the better of you, belittle you, discourage you, or make you feel as if you can not win because you can. God is not going to put you through anything in your life if he did not know that you were strong enough to get through it, his intentions are not for you to have to face these challenges alone for he is walking along side you every step of the way as well as friends, family, coworkers, peers, etc. There are so many people willing to help you succeed and overcome all the challenges that you are going to face on your journey though life. Do not think about what you feel is best for you in this very moment in time but rather what is going to benefit you in the long run, imagine how you will feel when you overcome whatever challenge you are facing and become successful. You will have invested hours and hours of hard work and dedication to push yourself to be successful not because it is what others want you to do but because you knew that you could do it and you reached your goal. Always keep in mind that it is just a phase in life and there are many of other opportunities and doors that will open after you make it past this tough time. You can do it and do not let anyone tell you that you are not able to, if you made it this far why would you give up now? YOU WOULDN’T AND YOU WON’T. You are going to push through and reach whatever goal it is that you have set for yourself and you are going to feel ecstatic in the end when you can stand up and proudly say, “I did it”.

Strength.

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 NASB

My prayer to you,

I know that all people face tough times in their lives and I pray that you give them the strength and perseverance to not lose hope and never give up on their dreams. Life is too precious to work so hard and to give up, Lord I pray that you life each person up when they are feeling down, show them that people are there to help them and give them the courage to push through, let them know that all the hard work they are putting in will all pay off in the end and that they will make a difference in the world. Give them positivity to keep their heads held high. Give them determination to keep working to finish what ever it may  be that they have began and give them hope Lord, show them that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that they will make it. I will never doubt your abilities for you are a God of wonders and with you anything  is possible. 

I pray this in your heavenly name Lord, Amen. 

j.murph

Suicide.

“If you are looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.”

September is known as Suicide Awareness Month and should be taken very seriously. Suicide is more common than many people think, as it is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States along with the 11th leading cause in the state of Indiana with an average of 25 people attempting suicide per each person that actually commits it. On average one person dies by suicide every nine hours in the state of Indiana, that is about three people each day and three more than it should be. All of the facts of suicide are heart breaking and seem unreal, but that is where it really gets scary because it IS real. There are various reasons for why a person would want to end their life with a vast range of how big of a reason it may seem. The reason a person would want to commit suicide may seem to be a “stupid thing for them to be upset about” to someone else but to that person that reason was huge thus having a huge impact on their life. There is not a single reason that is more important than another to as why a person should commit suicide, they shouldn’t, they should want to live. There are so many factors that lead to suicide and bullying plays a major role when it comes to suicide as bullying is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people. Keep in mind that words can hurt people whether you think they will or not and people need to learn to stand up and help the prevention of suicide. It is guaranteed that someone you know or someone close to you has had or is having thoughts of suicide in which do not be afraid to be that person that steps up and helps save that person’s life. The main cause of suicide is depression that is left untreated and 2/3 people who commit suicide are depressed. Depression IS curable with treatment and support; however, some people believe there is no one out there that can help them when there is in fact multiple people there are willing to help. Hotlines, therapists, doctors, coworkers, friends, and family are all people willing to find the help needed to overcome depression and any thoughts of suicide. Life is worth living and life is a precious thing that you only get one of, so find what it is that you are meant to do in it and BE INSPIRING. Everyone deserves to walk this Earth just as much as the next person so stand up and fight against suicide, find what it is that give you the motivation to do great things in this world for yourself and others as well. Knowing someone or being the person that is suicidal is a scary thing; however, everyone has a purpose and deserves to live and enjoy life.

Be strong. Be motivated. Be inspiring. Be supportive. Be life changing. Be a purpose. Be loving. Be worthy.

and remember…

YOU are strong. YOU are motivated. YOU are inspiring. YOU are supportive. YOU are life changing. YOU have a purpose. YOU are loved. YOU are worthy.

Help spread the word about preventing suicide not just in the month of September but each and every day. Help make a difference and SAVE A LIFE.

Pain is temporary but death is permanent.

“When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long.” -Unknown

Helpful Resources:

  • Talk to a trained crisis counselor. Text “DS” TO 741-741. Free, 24/7, Confidential.
  • 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
  • 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
  • Suicide.org
  • afsp.org American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

 

Suicidal Thoughts.

“Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.”

Psalm 55:22 NASB

My prayer to you,

I believe that all people can be saved by the grace of God and I know that reaching out to you in this very moment in time will help save a person’s life. There are so many people in this world that are stuck in a dark place in their life and I ask you Lord to reach out to them and help guide them on their journey through life. Show them they are worthy of all things and give them strength to conquer anything life throws them, be their guidance and comfort. For with you Lord all things are possible and each any every one of these people in the world has a purpose that was given to them by you and they just need help finding it. Be the light in their life like you were to mine and show all of these wonderful souls what is it like to be glorified by you Lord. You sent your one and only son to die for us, so we all can LIVE Lord, help show all of these people that they were put on this Earth to live life to the fullest. Show them love, compassion, comfort, strength, and give them courage to stand up and fight for their life. Let these people live. 

I pray this in your glorious name Lord, AMEN.

j.murph

Safety.

Do you ever meet that certain person that makes you forget about a traumatic experience from your past? Everything about them is so perfect and mesmerizing to where you cannot explain to anyone just why you feel the way you do and that’s the great thing about love, you do not have to justify it to anyone. Going through an experience that makes something so little such as looking someone in the eyes seem almost impossible be completely changed by the comfort and sanctuary of one person. That feeling of safety and being able to conquer a fear of yours is essentially life altering thanks to the soul of another human being who shows you the love that you deserve. It takes time to find that person, maybe you have or maybe you have not, that time will come but meanwhile in along the journey until that time come do not jump to quick and mistake salt for sugar, for they might look the same but the taste is either going to be bitter or sweet and that is up to you to make the choice of what taste you are going to end up with.

Safety

“Stay with me; do not be afraid, for he who seeks my life seeks your life, for you are safe with me.”
1 Samuel 22:23 NASB
j.murph

Success

Success doesn’t come easy, it is something that you have to work hard for and strive to reach it. There are plenty of times that people in your life will become jealous and envious of your accomplishments and the incentives you are handed along the way while you get closer and closer to reaching the goals that you have set for yourself; however, do everything you can to not let their jealousy hold you back from becoming successful or from reaching your goals. Surround yourself with people who build you up and commend you for all of your achievements that you make as your hard work and dedication for a certain thing inclines and is noticed by more people. Even the littlest of accomplishments are important, never let a single person tell you or make you feel otherwise. Be outgoing, thrive to be better than the rest, and prevail against those trying to hold you back.

Success

“The wicked earns deceptive wages, But he who sows righteousness gets a true reward.”

Proverbs 11:18 NASB

j.murph

Self Worth

How much do you let yourself believe you are worth to the world? No one else deserves the world any more than you do, so stop telling yourself that you are not worth as much as the next person. You were created a certain way and God’s intention was not for you to feel worthless and not good enough, it was actually the opposite. You are supposed to feel comfortable in your own skin because you are unique in your own way because of the fact that you are not exactly like anyone else. No one can take that away from you, let what people say about you build you up, learn to overlook it and keep your head up and you confidence high, no one can be you, except you. You are worth so much, so let your light shine for the rest of the world and show everyone else just exactly how much it is that you are worth.

Self Worth

Better is the poor who walks in his integrity
Than he who is crooked though he be rich.

Proverbs 28:6 NASB

j.murph

Patience is a Virtue.

 

Stop trying to make things happen, do not force anything just let it all happen naturally. It’s hard but learning to focus on yourself can make such a difference in your life. It is okay to be alone for a while, being alone helps you learn to love yourself. How are other people supposed to love you if you first do not love yourself? Great things do not happen all at once they take time, you need to be patient. Do not worry if the road to success is bumpy because life is not easy. Just remember that it is okay to reach out and ask for help, be open and talk to people when you are feeling down. Things go wrong and that is a part of life, do not panic, do not say you are worthless, and do not give up. You are worth so much more than you let yourself believe. Do not settle because you deserve the world just as much as anyone else.  Let down that hard shell blocking people from your life, it is okay to get hurt every once and a while but keep in mind that not every person you meet is going to hurt you. Feel confused? That’s okay, there is nothing wrong with being unsure. Do not be afraid when you feel lost, simply open up and tell people that you are really not okay and they will be sure to help you out if you just have patience.

Patience

Jesus answered and said to him, “What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.”

John 13:7 (NASB)

j.murph